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Saturday, April 02, 2005

 

A few minor clarifications

Following several blog comments, there seem to be a few minor lapses in understanding of my somewhat idiosyncratic terminology. If I may I clarify.

General Dyslexic; A pejorative term aimed at people who can read restriction signs etc but seem to drift around the world as if it were some kind of pink fog where parking rules only apply to other people.

Traffic Warden; A general term for a Parking Enforcement Officer. A person employed by a local authority (District, City, County Council) or the Police whose job is to enforce the parking restrictions by means of handing out fixed penalty notices.

Chav; Particular cult of subhuman generally associated with dressing in Burberry pattern baseball style caps, cheap chunky jewellery, trainer type shoes and trousers (In the male specimen) incessant swearing and the need to look ‘tough’ (“Hard as nails – twice as easy to hammer in” says my mate Big Harry). This subgroup is renowned for its poor communication skills, sexual incontinence, ignorant, inconsiderate, occasionally violent and doltish behaviour. They appear to have reached pandemic status within urban areas and a cull is long overdue.

Politically Correct; A curious idea that by not calling a thing by its proper name decreases political, racial, religious or socio-economic tension when the converse is true. These ideas are widely promulgated in the academic / scholastic / public sectors. Where these memes come from no one is really sure; however, it has long been suspected that the ‘Islington Dinner Party’ is the point of origin. Under the updated Prevention of Terrorism and Civil Contingencies acts Islington will shortly be outlawed and the whole area put under house arrest. But will anyone outside of that borough care? In addition; ‘Dinner Parties’, under section 7c, paragraph 42 of the updated Prevention of Terrorism Act are redefined as criminal offences where all participants will be subject to summary arrest and imprisonment.

Hope that clears up any misunderstandings. Nighty night.

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Exasperated expatriate expostulations all the way from British Columbia, Canada. As if anyone really cared. Oh, I also watch Icelandic Volcanoes and seismic activity. Don't ask me why.

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