Its Only A Parking Ticket!

Just thought I’d share some of the typical threats made to the average Parking Enforcement Officer (of whatever title) on an average day;

• “Me and my mates are gonna follow you home and torch your fuckin’ house”
• “I work at (Fill in location here) hospital and you won’t get
  treated if you need it”
• “I catch you out of uniform you’re gonna need a
  plastic surgeon”
• “Watch your back crossing the road, you bastard”
  

Most common insult from passing vehicle (In order of popularity)

• “Get a real job”
• Various obscene gestures indicating;
• I do not think your parents were married
• Please indulge in sex and travel simultaneously
• I think your partner is unfaithful
• You masturbate too much
• “Wanker!”
• “Bastard”
• “Fucking bastard”
  

Most common physical threat (In order of popularity)

• Vehicle driven at speed close to you (Last minute swerve /
  accelerate)
• Indicated physical violence (Raised hand / fist)
• Vehicle driven at speed right at you (Where you have to jump aside)

This is just the routine stuff. All of the following threats (and others) were made against myself and members of my shift in the past week (From 22nd March to 29th March 2005). All of them were reported in writing, stating time, date, vehicle registration and description of person making the threat to management who have promised to report these to real Police etc.

Like that’s going to happen.

Incidentally, management pulled me off patrol this morning having seen my incident report from Sunday. Senior Manager was sympathetic about threat, but I was told in no uncertain terms that I should watch my own language.

Sometimes you get the feeling that justice happens to other people.

After all, it’s only a bloody parking ticket.