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Tuesday, January 18, 2005


CCTV: A Modest proposal

One of the problems of CCTV in catching miscreants in town centres is its passivity. All it can do is watch. Gather evidence for later prosecution. Even fitting loudspeakers to it wouldn't do any good. There would just be a lot of collateral heart attacks as the speakers boom "YOU IN THE ANORAK! DO YOUR ZIP UP YOU PERV!" or "DROP THE KEBAB SON - IT'S NOT WORTH IT!" and other such admonitions. Every poor soul with a dicky ticker within earshot would keel over thus creating an even greater public order problem.

Here's my proposal; How about fitting each CCTV camera with a laser sight and well zeroed in rifle. That way, with a suitable calibre, say the same round used in the Barrett .50 snipers rifle, a well trained CCTV operator could stop individual troublemakers in their tracks. Say the usual pillock who enjoys his saturday pint and a fight gets stopped before he can do any real damage, say sireing more cretinous bozo's like himself. Gang fights halted with a short, well aimed burst. Even moving vehicle offences like illegal right turns could be dealt with by putting two quick rounds through the offenders engine block. Think about it. The ignorant git in the Range Rover carves up the OAP in the Metro and gets a wrecked engine. All the Police need do is turn up and arrest the survivor(s) (If any).

Result; Law abiding citizens can go about their day to day business without fear of being attacked, accosted or run down. Consider this; a (conditionally) safer world. Attempt to mug an OAP - Blam! Try to rob a bank. Pow! Park on double yellow lines during a loading restriction Takatakatakataka!!! All the Police need do would be to cart off the casualties and arrest them or bury them depending on how good the CCTV operators aim was.

Public order is no longer a problem. It could work. Trust me, I'm a Traffic Warden. Evil, moi? Surely not!


Blogger Lorenzo said...

The Camera Gun has just been serviced by by a Blairite, disabled, Blue Badge toting 4x4 driver, recently out of college, cheap labour service repairman who couldn't care a toss about his job and the CCTV operator ends up shooting down a low flying Police Helicopter whilst aiming at a large rat in a litter bin. Oh well life goes on.

Monday, January 24, 2005 11:39:00 pm  
Blogger pogo said...

LOL! God, I'd love to be the camera operator :-)

Wednesday, January 26, 2005 9:48:00 am  
Anonymous Mike said...

If such would be the case, the more people will freak out. I'd say let's stick to the video surveillance system they way it is now: just simply watch or talk. Let's give the public a little more freedom to move around.

Monday, July 02, 2007 9:29:00 am  
Anonymous Ethan said...

Surveillance system gun is a good inovative idea.. :)

Thursday, August 19, 2010 3:29:00 pm  
Anonymous Ethan said...

Surveillance system with a gun is a innovative idea.. lol

Thursday, August 19, 2010 3:32:00 pm  

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Exasperated expatriate expostulations all the way from British Columbia, Canada. As if anyone really cared. Oh, I also watch Icelandic Volcanoes and seismic activity. Don't ask me why.

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