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Friday, March 09, 2007


Amusing thought

Back on duty and patrolling the leafy suburbs today. Now I hadn’t booked anyone this morning and I was being about as harmless as a three day old kitten, because everyone’s being very careful to watch where they’re parking and there’s no cause to issue any tickets. This is fine by me, as it saves me getting writers cramp from writing out a lot of tickets, and also gives me a few moments to look up and note the buds breaking and the first blossom of the year.

I’m busy looking at the colour of the first cherry blossom leaves when some gonzo drives past and rudely disrupts my reverie by repeatedly blowing his horn. I look up to see said gonzo shouting “Sieg heil!” at me. This always perplexes me as I’m not a member of any such organisation, and would be horrified at the idea of gassing and murdering millions of ‘non-aryans’. Never mind about invading anywhere, I mean, I’m too busy giving out parking tickets to the inconsiderate for one thing. I looked at said idiot as he sped along in his tatty little car, both hands off the wheel, one finger under his nose and the other raised in a Nazi salute, wondering if he was going to hit the bollard in the centre of the relatively deserted road. He just missed it, but had to swerve suddenly to do so. I briefly enjoyed his sudden look of panic and pretended to take his number down as he disappeared into the middle distance, his middle finger raised in my general direction.

I wonder what his insurance report would have read had he hit the obstruction? How about “I was giving a Parking Warden on the other side of the road a piece of my mind when he put a concrete bollard in front of my car.”
Or perchance “The Parking Warden viciously put me off my driving by wearing his uniform in a highly offensive manner.”
How about; “I was driving along, minding my own business on a road I’d been driving along for years when a Parking Warden suddenly forced me to drive into a concrete bollard I’d never seen before.”

Although knowing the condition of the vehicle he was driving; there was a distinct likelihood he had no insurance anyway. Or tax, or licence.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chin chin Old bean.

It's the little things in life that raise the spirits.

Take care Bill.

Gonnor (sans blog)

Saturday, March 10, 2007 8:46:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah - I imagine it would be the third imagined claim - and it would be true to an extent...he was minding his own business (not very well though), he was driving along (and not responsibly, taking due care and attention etc) and his compulsion to gestigulate and insult a parking warden would cause him to have an accident (not the warden's fault as the warden is not in the least concerned about vehicles that are not stationary.) So, you'd both be right and the driver would be prosecuted for dangerous driving. (minimum as the hospital would have to report what caused the injuries they treated, and the police would have to file an accident report.)
I guess you can just stand there thinking 'silly sod' and do the pre-ambulance arriving snigger. Pity there's no money in it!

Monday, March 12, 2007 2:19:00 pm  

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Location: British Columbia, Canada

Exasperated expatriate expostulations all the way from British Columbia, Canada. As if anyone really cared. Oh, I also watch Icelandic Volcanoes and seismic activity. Don't ask me why.

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