I’m busy looking at the colour of the first cherry blossom leaves when some gonzo drives past and rudely disrupts my reverie by repeatedly blowing his horn. I look up to see said gonzo shouting “Sieg heil!” at me. This always perplexes me as I’m not a member of any such organisation, and would be horrified at the idea of gassing and murdering millions of ‘non-aryans’. Never mind about invading anywhere, I mean, I’m too busy giving out parking tickets to the inconsiderate for one thing. I looked at said idiot as he sped along in his tatty little car, both hands off the wheel, one finger under his nose and the other raised in a Nazi salute, wondering if he was going to hit the bollard in the centre of the relatively deserted road. He just missed it, but had to swerve suddenly to do so. I briefly enjoyed his sudden look of panic and pretended to take his number down as he disappeared into the middle distance, his middle finger raised in my general direction.
I wonder what his insurance report would have read had he hit the obstruction? How about “I was giving a Parking Warden on the other side of the road a piece of my mind when he put a concrete bollard in front of my car.”
Or perchance “The Parking Warden viciously put me off my driving by wearing his uniform in a highly offensive manner.”
How about; “I was driving along, minding my own business on a road I’d been driving along for years when a Parking Warden suddenly forced me to drive into a concrete bollard I’d never seen before.”
Although knowing the condition of the vehicle he was driving; there was a distinct likelihood he had no insurance anyway. Or tax, or licence.