A good officer never gets wet
Now we found out (No one told us) today that the locks have been changed, and we will no longer have access to these cosy little bolt holes in wet or freezing weather. We are now forced to waste up to half an hour patrol time walking back and forth to base to get and return keys to lock and unlock Council facilities. There are no more handy places to dry out your kit if you get caught in a sudden downpour. Oh yes, and we are forbidden to use public facilities whilst in uniform. We have no recourse but to freeze or be soaked when the weather turns and take ‘comfort breaks’ back at base. Union, what bloody union?
The reason for this closure is that one of our number was caught using one such bolt hole for twenty minutes to fill out his note book after a particularly successful foray. Instead of addressing his behaviour, the Council has seen fit to penalise all of us. The chair polishers are so petty. We get told that “Well you get a paid tea break” Ahem. Excuse me, you bastards can wander away from your desks every ten minutes if you want to, and have to have a ‘screen break’ of 5 minutes every hour (Check the health & Safety directives) and it doesn’t even get logged. Effectively giving them more break time than us. They can have cups of tea every hour on the hour and no one will say a dicky bird.
Fine, just let them try “Bill, can you do this for us?”
My reply will be “Sorry, be at least half an hour.”
“Oh Bill, can you…”
“Kind of tied up right now..”
“515, where are you?”
“515? Are you okay?”
“Anyone out there seen 515?”
“515 here control – Rather busy at the moment – can someone else help?”
“515, what are you doing?”
“I’m out at (Quote location on beat furthest from requested venue). Isn’t there anyone closer?”
“515, my office – now!”
“Can you hang on while I finish this first…”
The fun will be unending, or maybe an ending.