Mail from Santa!

Dear Bill,

Just a little missive re your posted message. I’m currently out of stock of the item you asked for as I’ve only got two and I’ve had to post them both on E-bay to pay the bloody parking fine I got from you last year. Rudolph and Prancer are still traumatised by the whole event and have difficulty getting off the ground. This means half the time I’m flying sideways with a tendency to stall if I’m not careful. Air Traffic Control can get very shirty about some of my involuntary aerial antics I can tell you.

I mean how could you? I’m Santa bloody Claus for Christmas’ sake! Surely the Road Traffic Act 1991 doesn’t apply to animal towed vehicles like mine on double yellow lines Godsdammit! Anyway, I was
less than five minutes; your timer must have been wonky and I was unloading.

What this means is – cheap socks and a cheesy tie for you again this year me lad. Think yourself lucky you get that.

Seasons Greetings you Bastard,

Santa.

P.S. The Reindeer droppings shortly to appear on your roof are a purely complementary gesture.

Well I never, it really was him. Whoops. Still think he should have challenged the ticket. Oh well, time for a little light refreshment methinks.

Looks like he's taken it to heart and is short circuiting the guys up in Brum.