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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

 

Ticket hounds

It may not come as a huge surprise all you people out there that there are members of the Parking Enforcement fraternity who even we look down on. Beat poachers, Ticket monsters, High Rollers, or just plain w****rs, depending upon your viewpoint.

Personally I despise them, as they are the ones who get us the bad name by their over zealous interpretations of the parking laws.

I suppose it’s our own fault, a human failing, and our own insecurity encouraging us to compare our performance against each other. The question is always the same at the end of the shift- “How did you do today?”
“Beat F – totally dead. Only got four.” Or maybe, “Okay. Beat B. I hit double figures.” Both of which will get grudging nods of respect.
Then the ‘Ticket Hound’ sashays in with a smirk and announces their total which is double anybody elses. It isn’t bullshit, but you just know that slimy sod has done it by encroaching on everyone elses assigned beat and cutting corners. Issuing tickets before the ‘observation time’ is up, not telling anyone that they are cutting across your territory, so the first thing you know is that a row of tickets has blossomed on a row of cars which rightly speaking should have been dealt with by the assigned beat officer. Assigned beat officer gets the flak from the angry public while ‘Ticket hound’ blithely sails on back into their own assigned territory with a pouch full.

What pisses me off most is that these are the guys who don’t do the job properly, the short cut specialists, the ones who skimp on the evidence collection. They will always issue a ticket instead of moving someone on. Which many of us feel is unfair and legitimises all those urban myths about us hiding behind trees and bus stops – because they are the sorry sad acts who feel that tricking motorists is necessary.

This has always offended my sense of decency and fair play. Yes I know we’re up against people who think nothing of using threats, trickery and outright fraud, but if you don’t look after your conscience, how will you sleep at night? Yes, I hand out parking tickets, but if I’ve nabbed you, you can bet it was fair and square. That’s what keeps me going in the face of overt public disapproval.

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Exasperated expatriate expostulations all the way from British Columbia, Canada. As if anyone really cared. Oh, I also watch Icelandic Volcanoes and seismic activity. Don't ask me why.

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