The Joy of Shops part 1

My feet ache, my head aches, bits of me that I never had ache before ache. Don’t know how far I’ve walked today in heavy boots but it’s been far enough. Not much to show for it though, most people were behaving themselves and only one crafty so-and-so managed to pull the wool over my eyes, and that was because I was tired and did sloppy observations.

Christmas shopping is manic from our point of view. We are continually fire fighting against a tide of people all wanting to get into the same place at the same time and creating merry hell when they can’t. There are the disabled shoppers who park on the narrowest part of a busy street and cause us to tear our hair as traffic backs up around the town centre because we can’t touch them for three hours. There are the aggressive type ‘A’ personalities for whom everything is a contest and devil take the hindmost, stopping where they please so traffic can’t flow past, then giving you a mouthful as though you’re the one causing the snarl up.

Dear Santa,

Please send me a device that will teleport vehicles across time and space to the nearest scrap yard. If it can also send the vehicles owners across time and space to the nearest industrial mincing machine, that would be a plus. Don’t want world peace or an end to poverty just something to keep the streets clear.

I’ve been ever so good. Please.

Regards

Bill