The eyes have it
Went into my corner shop for some biscuits a few weeks ago. Left the dog outside to wait for his customary treat for sitting still and being good. New manager recognises me as a regular and engages me in usual banter about weather, then looks me straight in the eyes and asks. “So what do you do for a living?”
“Oh, nothing you’d find interesting.” I told her flippantly, turning to leave.
“You a Policeman?”
“Er, no. What makes you think that?” I replied, a little nonplussed.
“You look like a copper.” She persisted.
“What?” Now I’m confused.
“You look at things. You pay attention. You’ve got that intense look about you.” She expanded.
“No, I’m not a Police officer.” Okay, so where was this going?
“Come on. You can tell me.” She persisted.
“You sure?” Oh all right.
“Yeah, I want to know.” More fool her.
“I’m a Traffic Warden.” I shrugged. There was the obligatory embarrassed pause. At length she says. “I think I’d rather be known as a Copper if I were you.”
“Yeah, right.” At this point I made my exit. That was getting a little too spooky for my liking.
Being an honest husband, I related this conversation to Mrs Sticker and youngest, who both confirmed that since I took this Traffic Warden job just over a year ago I have developed a certain expression around the eyes; 40% observance, 55% suspicion 5% Thousand-year gaze. Curses! How can I ever play poker and win again?
“Oh, nothing you’d find interesting.” I told her flippantly, turning to leave.
“You a Policeman?”
“Er, no. What makes you think that?” I replied, a little nonplussed.
“You look like a copper.” She persisted.
“What?” Now I’m confused.
“You look at things. You pay attention. You’ve got that intense look about you.” She expanded.
“No, I’m not a Police officer.” Okay, so where was this going?
“Come on. You can tell me.” She persisted.
“You sure?” Oh all right.
“Yeah, I want to know.” More fool her.
“I’m a Traffic Warden.” I shrugged. There was the obligatory embarrassed pause. At length she says. “I think I’d rather be known as a Copper if I were you.”
“Yeah, right.” At this point I made my exit. That was getting a little too spooky for my liking.
Being an honest husband, I related this conversation to Mrs Sticker and youngest, who both confirmed that since I took this Traffic Warden job just over a year ago I have developed a certain expression around the eyes; 40% observance, 55% suspicion 5% Thousand-year gaze. Curses! How can I ever play poker and win again?
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