In too bloody deep
To be brutally honest, the root cause is probably financial. My job is barely servicing my debts and has led to considerable friction between my wife and I. Every other means of making a living appears to be closed to me and I find myself wondering in my darker moments whether or not I will end up out on my ear, homeless as well as broke. Walking the Streets all night as well as all day. At the moment of writing this seems a distinct possibility.
There has to be a way out and I just can’t see it right now. I have made promises to her which I must keep or I am not the man I thought I was. ‘Though hell itself should bar the way’ I said and meant it. My word is not given lightly and has never been broken once given. There has to be something to be said for that small boast.
Perhaps this is my most serious character flaw. Those I love know I will do what they ask of me or die in the attempt. My attempts to keep the specific promise have so far failed, yet I cannot give up. Another character flaw, my bred in the bone stubbornness drives me never to accept defeat in these matters. Trouble is, it tends to make me neglect my own needs, or at least consider them less important than not breaking a promise to a loved one, because without that integrity – what am I?
On second thoughts – don’t answer that.