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Saturday, July 29, 2006


Being Bill Sticker

Who is Bill Sticker? Is he really as he claims to be, a real live honest to god Parking Enforcement Officer? Where is he really from? Why does he write about it? Are his hobbies really walking and sarcasm?

The first question is a bit complex. Bill is a real person, but the times and order of incidents are generally (But not always) altered in order to disguise my true identity. Well, given the fact that if my employers read some of the things I’ve written regarding parking enforcement in our area, and about Management in general, disciplinary action would surely follow. Put that within context of my district and possible repercussions from those who have an irrational but genuine and dangerous hatred of people in my line of work, I think anonymity is my best shield and protection. Despite that, yes, I’m a genuine Local Authority Parking Enforcement Officer with uniform, badge, Officer Number, the works. Yes and I have issued quite a few tickets to those who were in breach of the parking rules. Within that context, one out of three isn’t bad.

As for question number four, now that’s a sticky one. Why do I write about it? Is it as Jane Perrone in the Guardian online suggested last year that it is my ‘one man agenda’ to ‘Rehabilitate’ the image of Traffic Wardens? Well I didn’t start out that way. It began as a sideline; a hobby derived from my evening school writing class based on a two thousand word piece ‘Support your local Traffic Warden’. As for actually starting a blog, my chief inspirations at the time being a very brave man called Cass Brown who writes ‘Cancergiggles’ about living and dying of terminal cancer, and David Copperfield who writes the ‘Policemans blog’. After only a week, people began linking to my blog, and for no better reason that I liked what they were saying I started linking back, and before you know it my weblog had the national press paying me visits.

Am I a whistleblower? Well I don’t think of myself that way. If anything it’s fun for me and good writing practice. Add to that the fact that I can say pretty much what I like on whatever takes my fancy. Say I think that a particular publication is unnecessarily one sided and facile, I can say so. Maybe I don’t think that global warming is all anthropocentric, my blog, my platform. It’s like having a ‘Letters to the Editor’ page all to yourself.

For me it is all about my so far frustrated ambition to make it as a professional writer. I don’t have a degree so no one is likely to offer me the work that I feel my ‘talent’, if that is what it is, demands. Previously people have only seemed to come to me when they want something for nothing; which can be flattering but puts nothing on the table. In addition the markets for writers in England can be very restrictive if you haven’t made your ‘name’ or restrict your output to very narrow fields. This is my personal experience.

Now as for question five. Yes I am a really sarcastic so and so in real life and often find myself ironing my own teeth marks out of my tongue or I would get myself into just heaps of trouble. The trouble is there’s so much damn temptation out there for a lippy sod like me, given the amount of sheer unmitigated, but above all human stupidity out on the Streets. From both sides of the parking fence.

To close; pre emptive answers to further questions; have I had a drink this evening? You betcha. Have I had a busy day? Of sorts, yes. Am I out on patrol in your area tomorrow? I might be, might not. As my Mother has always been fond of saying; ‘That’s for me to know and you to find out.’ Much to my fathers chagrin. Nighty night.


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Location: British Columbia, Canada

Exasperated expatriate expostulations all the way from British Columbia, Canada. As if anyone really cared. Oh, I also watch Icelandic Volcanoes and seismic activity. Don't ask me why.

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E-mail address : billsticker at gmail dot com


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