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Friday, March 03, 2006


Teechur sez I mus’ write out one tousan’ times;

“I must not watch breakfast TV on my days off or any day. It is bad for me.”

It just annoys the living bejasus out of me. Smiley faux presenters and vociferous minority groups demanding that ‘something be done’ about their pet cause.

This morning a person who had been quite reasonably asked to leave a café when she had elected to breast feed her child was banging on how it was her ‘right’ to breast feed wherever and whenever she chose, sod everybody else. Well excuuuuse me! When I pay over the odds for a cup of java in a coffee shop or restaurant I object to parents bringing in their squalling, undisciplined life accessory and spoiling my enjoyment. I don’t enjoy the snivelling, squalling, occasionally vomiting proto humanity any more than I enjoy being in a crowded ‘theme’ pub with a bunch of blitzed out football fans in celebratory mood (Doing hilarious things like slobbering over / fighting with / showing usually covered body parts to total strangers). To be honest, I choose places where quiet conversation and good manners is the norm rather than the exception. Yes, and I do pay a premium for that privilege.

There are times and places for breast feeding, and in a café where other people are trying to quietly enjoy a coffee, light snack and read of the paper is not one of them. It’s pure bad manners. The management were quite right to ask her to leave. Silly slattern. She should organise her day around the babies feed times, like my Mother used to and like my wife used to.

The other annoying item was the Food Standards Agency saying that they were ‘looking’ at reducing the salt content of cheeses because people are eating too much salt and dying. Why bother? Let the silly brain dead fuckers gorge themselves and keel over. It may even stop them passing on their lack of intelligence to the next generation. In the greater scheme of things they will not be missed. Changing the recipe of a foodstuff that the at risk groups do not usually eat is not likely to have much effect on the death rate (Who said ‘Shame’?). What happened to ‘don’t eat that – you’ll get ill’ school of personal responsibility? Let them die.

I get pissed off that big government is continually being urged by vociferous minorities to pass legislation that only benefits a few, and is probably unenforceable anyway.

For all their faults, I think the French have the right idea. The very notion that government was going to change their gastronomic habits would have ports blockaded and burning barricades in double quick time. The French would not dream of banning La Chasse or altering the recipe for Camembert. Guillotines would be erected and politicians heads rolling in the Place de la Concord before that happened.

The British government should adopt an attitude more in common with the French towards these demands. For example; when Brussels comes out with another lame brain ‘directive’, the British immediately set up huge government departments to enforce it, while the French send the file to a tiny three person office somewhere off the Rue Lafayette where the gallic shrug has been polished to a finesse. The offending directive is then carefully put in file 13.

Perhaps we British should adopt a more American approach, where such laws can only be made and enforced in the county or state that they apply to. Sounds good to me.

Ooo, that was a nice rant. I feel so much better now. No more breakfast TV. I promise. Now I’m off for a quiet lie down in a darkened room.


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Location: British Columbia, Canada

Exasperated expatriate expostulations all the way from British Columbia, Canada. As if anyone really cared. Oh, I also watch Icelandic Volcanoes and seismic activity. Don't ask me why.

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