Baby it's cold outside

Suburban beat. First day back on patrol and I must have lost the best part of a degree in body heat. Minus five all day and no chance of bunking off to a conveniently heated megastore doorway. On days like these, the leafy suburbs lose their appeal and turn into, to misquote Mark Twain “A good walk spoiled.”

Not much to do out on the far reaches of our remit, so I went off and didn’t do it; as instructed. Even if all around there was the incessant clanging of brass monkeys balls as they froze off. Spent half my time thinking about what new years resolutions I was going to make.

More about that when I decide.