A Call to be armed

Take time off, what happens? All the exciting stuff happens. Came back from two off duty days to see an equipment request on the message board in our rest room. One of my oppo's, having served a series of tickets to some very naughty people over the weekend, caught such grief from them he put the following equipment request in;

1 x New uniform hat band & badge
1 x New style blue bomber jacket
1 x Smith & Wesson .357 revolver
1 x bullet & stab proof vest
1 x kevlar helmet
5 x Claymore mines
1 x Barrett 0.50 Snipers rifle
1 x AKM Assault rifle with folding stock
1 x Warrior fighting vehicle with 20mm cannon
Assorted ammunition for above items
Ear plugs

I think he's upset about something. Feel the same way sometimes myself. Currently debating emigration with my wife who wants out of Britain. The whole country feels cramped somehow. No new horizons, too many rules and taxes. I know it's my job to enforce some of these rules, but you know sometimes you get a feeling of 'Why bother, let the bastards go to hell in their own handbasket' takes over.

Anyone got a job in Canada or the USA?