Oh you are awful
Well I am. I have few redeeming features if you listen to some people, but then again the same people are the ones who whine like wonky gearboxes when their streets aren’t kept clear. So where does this leave me? Holding the shit end of the stick as always I think.
My life on the Streets is moving inexorably to its bitter end, my exit strategy is moving forward slowly but surely, and life may shortly (I hope) improve. One is not holding one’s breath you understand, but hope springs eternal as they say. A number of the other guys feel this way and are also laying plans. That mess room is going to be an awful empty place if the grumbling is anything to go by.
On the brighter side (Well to my warped sense of humour at least), one of todays little encounters made me suppress a smirk. A driver has parked his early 1990’s BMW on double yellows (A sure sign that there is a below the waist, above the neck winkle problem) and is just sitting there in the drivers seat. As I am wont to do, I walk over to the vehicle in clear line of sight and try to catch the drivers attention. Driver winds down window. “What?” He demands angrily. What a nice man, not.
“You do realise you’re parked on double yellow lines, sir.”
“Yeah, so what?” Am I wearing a uniform or a frilly pink tutu, pal?
“You shouldn’t park here, sir.”
“Yeah I can.” This boy’s a fool.
“The markings indicate that you may not stop here sir.”
“My daughters over there.” So aren’t you with her? You utter buffoon.
“Why not park over there in the car park sir?”
“Don’t you be sarcastic to me!”
“No I’m not sir. I am simply asking politely why you do not park legally. There are spaces over there.” I indicate the pay and display bays across the street. “I’ve just checked.”
He snarled at me and wound the window up. I think he said something along the lines of it was going to be ‘All my fault’ if his precious little princess got raped – or some such nonsense. I missed the rest of what he said and perhaps that’s just as well. He’d already proved himself to be a grade A pillock. If he was that keen on protecting his kids he’d be out there keeping them company instead of sitting in his ageing willy substitute.
His behaviour, like that of so many others sometimes makes me think I’m wasting my time trying to be polite. I often feel I might as well just start punching in a vehicles details regardless. Just like the jobsworth stereotype many people automatically assume me to be. This blog will never change that. Restrictions generate contraventions like sewers flow with shit. It’s in the nature of things. The rules exist to govern the behaviour of those who cannot see the folly of their own actions, and the inconvenience they bring to others. Then again, I think I’ll keep on doing the job the way I already do because I’ve grown comfortable with it. I sleep well at night, only awakened by the occasional wifely elbow in the ribs when my snoring gets too much.
My life on the Streets is moving inexorably to its bitter end, my exit strategy is moving forward slowly but surely, and life may shortly (I hope) improve. One is not holding one’s breath you understand, but hope springs eternal as they say. A number of the other guys feel this way and are also laying plans. That mess room is going to be an awful empty place if the grumbling is anything to go by.
On the brighter side (Well to my warped sense of humour at least), one of todays little encounters made me suppress a smirk. A driver has parked his early 1990’s BMW on double yellows (A sure sign that there is a below the waist, above the neck winkle problem) and is just sitting there in the drivers seat. As I am wont to do, I walk over to the vehicle in clear line of sight and try to catch the drivers attention. Driver winds down window. “What?” He demands angrily. What a nice man, not.
“You do realise you’re parked on double yellow lines, sir.”
“Yeah, so what?” Am I wearing a uniform or a frilly pink tutu, pal?
“You shouldn’t park here, sir.”
“Yeah I can.” This boy’s a fool.
“The markings indicate that you may not stop here sir.”
“My daughters over there.” So aren’t you with her? You utter buffoon.
“Why not park over there in the car park sir?”
“Don’t you be sarcastic to me!”
“No I’m not sir. I am simply asking politely why you do not park legally. There are spaces over there.” I indicate the pay and display bays across the street. “I’ve just checked.”
He snarled at me and wound the window up. I think he said something along the lines of it was going to be ‘All my fault’ if his precious little princess got raped – or some such nonsense. I missed the rest of what he said and perhaps that’s just as well. He’d already proved himself to be a grade A pillock. If he was that keen on protecting his kids he’d be out there keeping them company instead of sitting in his ageing willy substitute.
His behaviour, like that of so many others sometimes makes me think I’m wasting my time trying to be polite. I often feel I might as well just start punching in a vehicles details regardless. Just like the jobsworth stereotype many people automatically assume me to be. This blog will never change that. Restrictions generate contraventions like sewers flow with shit. It’s in the nature of things. The rules exist to govern the behaviour of those who cannot see the folly of their own actions, and the inconvenience they bring to others. Then again, I think I’ll keep on doing the job the way I already do because I’ve grown comfortable with it. I sleep well at night, only awakened by the occasional wifely elbow in the ribs when my snoring gets too much.
3 Comments:
I do hope if your plans work out there will be a new blog by you, "clean end of the stick" maybe.
As a town Centre Bobby in a Town where the council have yet to de-criminalise the parking, I am forced to pay some of my attention to the parking that can only be described as a complete joke.
I too face the same stupid excuses as you.
Driver parked on a keep clear and is just returning to his vehicle as I am getting a FPN out of my pocket.
Driver says "I WAS ONLY TWO MINUTES MATE".
My answer is "it says keep clear".
Not "keep clear unless you are only going to be two minutes, does it".
My biggest annoyances are the blue badge holders who seem to think they have the god given right to park ANYWHERE. A whole row of disabled parking spaces with DY lines at the end. They always park at the end where it's so obviously not safe to park.
I will be sooooo glad when it’s de-criminalised.
oh yes, the bigger the car, the smaller the willy, thats why i drive a mini :)
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