I’ve been thinking….

Every so often one gets contacted by media types looking for ‘funny’ stories about life out here in the big bad wild and sometimes not so wild world of the streets. Recently I’ve been wondering if any media types might be interested in making programmes about parking enforcement as practiced in Britain with advice from a veteran Enforcement Officer. No hype, just the real deal.

Normally I refuse to help on the grounds that discovery would lay me open to a ‘disciplinary’ and possible sacking. My reason behind this apparent volte face is the current state of play in our little neck of the woods. I am busy with my exit strategy, but I’m also looking to make something out of it; money for example. Never mind wasting the TV tax (Yes it is a tax – ever tried not having a TV?) on an undercover reporter. How’s about making some TV shows with the real inside track from an articulate ex enforcement officer with over three years on street experience?

Such programmes would include details of what to do if you have a parking problem and who to talk to. What to do if you get one slapped on your windscreen. What markings are enforceable and what aren’t not to mention by whom. How to deal with Parking Enforcers apart from acting like a complete arse. Little titbits like the famous disabled ‘blue badges’ and the London Boroughs where they are no good at all. All that stuff.

Might I reiterate that I would not do any of this for free. I’m not comfortable with being this mercenary but no money – no deal. Make it worth my while. Any takers?

Thought not. Back to the drawing board.