Bypassing the bureaucracy

Sometimes in this life, the book has to be thrown out of the window. If the procedures ain’t working, they just ain’t working. I booked three vehicles in one street, one after the other with no road tax. Being a law abiding sort, this irks me somewhat, as this means some cheating sod is getting away with not paying their due like the rest of us. This in turn means that rob dog Gordon Brown (Britain’s chancellor of the exchequer – chief finance minister – thief, enter own rabid adjective here ……….. ) has to make good a shortfall in Vehicle Excise Licences from elsewhere. Ergo, the rest of us end up paying more tax.

I phoned in to control, asking them politely if they would pass the vehicle number plates on to our friends in blue, only to be told that the Police weren’t all that interested. Having had a couple of run ins with Control over the past year, this translated into my head as Control saying “I can’t be arsed.” Okay lads, now let me see what I can do, methought.

Later in the day I’m patrolling a road to find two coppers in a squad car pulled over for a couple of minutes. I wandered over to them and asked. “Hello guys, you got a minute?” They recognised my Parking enforcer uniform and nodded.
“Would you be interested in three vehicles without road tax?”
“Yeah sure, where are they?” Said the passenger; I told him the street and reeled off the vehicle numbers.
“I did try to put it through Control, but they said you wouldn’t be interested.” I added, stirring vigorously.
“Really?” Came the intrigued response.
“Well, I’ll leave it with you then.”
“Cheers mate.”
“All yours – ta-ra.” I said and walked off, leaving then some easy ‘Fixed whizzers’ to hand out at their leisure.

Control is going to have to answer a few questions about this one. We keep on fielding stuff to them and sometimes it just doesn’t seem to get passed on.

This time it did. Heh, heh, heh. Weasel your way out of that.