Don’t drink and ……..park?
Eddy (Not, obviously his real name.) was out on the streets trolling along when a car bounces up the kerb about fifty yards ahead of him. The driver literally falls out of the front seat and staggers across to the public toilets.
Being a bit taken aback, Eddy wandered up to the car which has come to a halt on double yellows and put in a call to CCTV, just in case he was ill and needed medical assistance. Then he spots a bottle of Vodka lying in the front footwell of the passenger side. A quick sniff at the alcohol fumes wafting from inside the car made him pause and back away twenty yards just before the driver lurches out of the toilets.
Now Eddy was no fool (Probably why he’s gone on to better things) and logs a call to CCTV re suspected drink driving. Just as he’s doing so, the driver sees him and screeches something incoherent at him. It was probably ‘fuck off’ or something like that, but Eddy wasn’t sure. He gave him another incoherent mouthful and slumped back into the drivers seat, restarted the car and lurched off the pavement.
A few minutes later I’m walking back to base and catch the “All Officers” call to avoid a certain car if it happens onto our beat and let CCTV know where it’s going. Just as Eddy goes off the air, sure enough, the car swings into view and so do two Panda’s in pursuit. Twenty seconds later the offending driver is pulled over, looking very guilty indeed. Coppers give me a nod as I walk past. Driver spits abuse in my direction, which I think is comical; it wasn’t even me that called the Police. Coppers manhandle him into the back of the rear Panda with stern imprecations to “Blow properly please sir.”
I put a call out over the air that suspected drink driver has been apprehended and walk on. Serve the bleeder right for driving a car in that condition. Anyone who drinks and drives needs a good kick up the arse. Preferably before they kill some blameless mothers son.
As for the abuse? Well, come the morning after I don’t think he’d even remember what he’d said, or to whom. We are just things in Uniform I suppose. Just a nameless, numberless target.
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