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Wednesday, January 11, 2006


My very good friend the Chiropodist says…

That I’m a physical wreck. I pronate too much (Doesn’t that make you go blind?) when I walk and have a left heel Varus (So that’s where one of those lost Roman legions got to – must phone Augustus.). My plantar fascia is damaged and I’ve got a strained peroneus longus. Oh yes, and I’m definitely compensating for something (Probably low self esteem – or is it that old ankle injury?).

However, my calf and thigh musculature is in good nick which helps compensate for the damage to my feet and ankles apparently. I am told I need to rest my feet properly after the working day.

I’d put my aching feet up and watch the Darts on television; only I think my head would implode from the boredom. Yes, yes, I find Darts incredibly boring. Almost as bad as Snooker or Golf. In fact I find all televised sport rather like having a dog and barking myself. Now participating is another matter. Playing is good. Which is probably why my body is so knackered. I’m plagued by a series of old injuries caused by over enthusiasm in a number of sports, an aggressive young adulthood and the odd flying leap off a motorcycle at speed. The background discomfort is always there and you do tend to filter it a lot of it out. I suppose you get used to a lot of things after a while, as the torturer said to his victim.

Where everything comes home to roost is when you stop at the end of a hard day on street. Your feet ache, your ankles ache and your calves feel like they are made of heated lead. I find the back of my knees tend to make their presence felt. The walking helps ease any lower back pain you might have, but that’s the only bright spot. Maybe I should walk on the grass more often, but there isn’t much of that on the streets we patrol. It’s all concrete and tarmac with very little respite which probably does the damage.

All is not lost; I have been prescribed with gel inserts moulded to my feet which I am told are jolly comfortable. I look forward to the relief.


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Location: British Columbia, Canada

Exasperated expatriate expostulations all the way from British Columbia, Canada. As if anyone really cared. Oh, I also watch Icelandic Volcanoes and seismic activity. Don't ask me why.

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