Sic Transit Gloria Monday

There but for the grace of God went today. Monday has been a complete and utter nightmare back at base. Our rinky dinky little computer system has crashed faster than a hippy on bad acid. The automated car park meter system has decided it doesn’t want to come out to play today either. The phone has been ringing off the hook with customer complaints and it’s been tipping it down.

Anything remotely electronic has gone down quicker than a cheap hooker for a hundred pound tip. Must be the rain and humidity. Management has been going apeshit all day because nothing seems to work, oh yes guess what; it’s all our fault. By mid afternoon, most of the guys on duty just gave up and went “What?” whenever challenged.

For my own part, on the supposition that “discretion is the greater part of valour”, I stayed on the more obscure parts of my beat using the pretext “Well it hasn’t been checked recently.” This kind of gets me off the hook and still looks good statistically, so my performance rating comes out looking mean and keen (Which I haven’t been today thank you). I’ve just been out smelling the flowers, making my presence felt, sheltering under archways and just generally being visible.

The end result of which means I’ve been wandering round with an irritating smirk on my face all day. Not many tickets (1), but then I haven’t been trying very hard.