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PC EE Bloggs - Diary of an on-call girl

Saturday, July 02, 2005


We do nice things too…

Was out on patrol this afternoon, smarting a little having caught an earful off an irate car driver who thought it was his god-given right to park on double yellow lines. I, not unnaturally, disagreed and issued a Penalty Charge Notice. First he begged (It was so pathetic) me to take it off the windscreen, when I quite properly refused, telling him to follow the procedure and challenge the ticket, chummy lapsed into foul abuse upon my person. My parents weren’t married when I was conceived and born, I (To him) resembled a fornicating female front bottom, an erect penis, a large fornicating erect penis and other, less salubrious parts of the body. I just walked off and went “Yeah, yeah, is that the best you can do?” Under my breath. It annoyed me because every time someone does this you end up having to fill out an incident report form, which is about as much use as a rubber spanner.

While I was still spitting feathers about the personal abuse (Although not out loud in public), I got a call on the radio from CCTV. Apparently, someone had lost their child in one of the parks and there were no real Police or PCSO’s around to deal with it. As it was on my way back to base, I looked in on one of the small council owned car parks just in case. Didn’t see any missing child, but retrieved a brand new credit card from one of the pay and display machines. Opened the offending machine up to clear the blockage and put card in an envelope to hand in as lost property. Next thing I know there’s a tugging at my right trouser leg. Lost child stood there, cute as a button, with an impish grin on her four-year-old face. “Have you seen my mummy?”

Radioed in location to CCTV to say child was found safe and would they call the parents to come and collect her. “Er, 515, roger that description. Have you on camera. Can you stay where you are?”
“Okay.” Says I and ended up waiting and nattering to this quite bright little girl, trying to keep her amused (Playing word games etc.) until distraught Mother turns up an hour later. Big emotional scene by Mother. Little girl cool as they come. Mother scoops up errant offspring with floods of tears (Not a word of a thank you to old 515) and bustles off to car. Driving out of the car park, Mother (Whose preciously precocious child I have been babysitting for the past hour) scowls at me as though I was a paedophile caught abusing her daughter (Well I suppose I am only a Parking Enforcement Officer). I shrugged, then just as Mothers car is pulling out into traffic, little girl waves and blows me a kiss, which made me smile. Maybe there’s hope for that little girl.

Credit card and owner were reunited shortly thereafter, courtesy of yours truly and CCTV. No thanks from the person who lost it of course, but we’re used to that. Still, the cheeky grin on that little girls face made up for it.

I must be getting soft in my old age.


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Location: British Columbia, Canada

Exasperated expatriate expostulations all the way from British Columbia, Canada. As if anyone really cared. Oh, I also watch Icelandic Volcanoes and seismic activity. Don't ask me why.

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