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Saturday, March 05, 2005

 

Least Troublesome People

I have a bit of a confession to make; I have booked all classes of vehicles except three. Guess what they are.

HGV? – No.
How about buses or coaches? – Been there, nicked them.
Disabled? – When they’re bang to rights I booked ‘em
Lamborghini’s? Porsches? BMW’s? – Stitched up like a kipper
A Trabant? – Don’t be silly, we’re talking class of vehicle here, not specific make.
Three wheelers? – No, you’re missing something. Give up? All right then.

Motorcycles. Driven by big hairy (and not so hairy) tough Hells Angels types. Speed freaks with the latest machines who often turn out to be Doctors, Lawyers, Policemen, Company Directors and Senior Managers. I’ve never had to nick a motorcycle. Odd that. It’s just that the situation has never arisen where I could have slapped a ticket on so much as a moped. I’ve stopped and spoken to Bikers quite often, but they’ve usually been co operative and scoot straight off before you can punch their registrations into your hand held computer. So much for stereotypes. To be honest, I’ve developed a soft spot for them as they are from my perspective, apart from the odd speeding offence and fatal RTA – no trouble at all.

So much for the stereotype tearaway.

The other two types I’ve never booked are tracked and Agricultural vehicles. Let’s face it, unless a farmer is making a ‘point’ on the council offices with some ‘organic fertiliser’ from his ‘side flinger’ you don’t see Tractors, and the only tracked vehicles we’ve ever seen are Military and you don’t slap a PCN on someone who’s got 20mm Cannon and armour plate.

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Exasperated expatriate expostulations from Ireland.

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