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Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Cry Havoc!

Well this is a sea change and no mistake. We have been given orders to ‘keep the streets clear at all costs’ on the run up to Christmas. This means that the usual rules governing observation times, which are discretionary anyway, are now in abeyance. We have been given the green light to book hard, book often and show no mercy. If there is no driver present, the vehicle in question will have one slapped on the windscreen and no five minutes observation, no nothing and God send the right.

That’ll be fun then. Us poor sods doing the town centre beats are going to have more aggro on the run up to the festering season than ever before. The past two Christmastides we were told to go easy and increase our observation times. Not so this year. After the first couple of shopping weekends, town centre congestion was so bad that the Police and various civic bodies have clamoured for us Parking Enforcers to come the heavy and book anything that doesn’t move fast enough.

It’s all very well for them upstairs to make these demands when their front line troops are in for a caning. I can safely predict lost teeth, black eyes and diverse other assaults upon our persons.

As I said to one Copper a couple of weeks ago while I was booking a car “Hi ho, all this and no body armour.” Now where’s my gumshield, shinguards and cricketers box?


Anonymous James said...

You can probably buy body armour off the internet; might be a bit of a Christmas rush, though.

Give 'em hell!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006 4:01:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A gum shield in black with big white letters saying Fuck Off on would be great, you could stand there listening with serious look on face and when they had quite finished ranting at you, well you could give them a great big Christmas Smile. Sensible Policing

Wednesday, December 13, 2006 5:04:00 pm  

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Location: British Columbia, Canada

Exasperated expatriate expostulations all the way from British Columbia, Canada. As if anyone really cared. Oh, I also watch Icelandic Volcanoes and seismic activity. Don't ask me why.

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