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Saturday, August 13, 2005

 

Oh my GOD!

I had no idea things were that bad. According to Chocolate & Vodka, the British Terror Alert has been raised to a 'Nice hot strong cup of tea'. This is serious. Not since the dark days of 1940, with the imminent threat of invasion has the terror alert ever been so high. Even during the hottest phase of the cold war, with nuclear midnight less than a breath away, the general alert status for Britain was never raised above ‘Stiff upper lip’.

Perhaps there has been a re-grade of the alert classification system recently. To the best of my knowledge it went like this (in reverse order);

6 Full English please
No risk whatsoever
5 Large Bacon Sandwich
Minor risk
4 Stiff upper lip
Moderate risk
2 Nice hot cup of tea
Serious immediate risk
1 Pint of Best
Complete and utter Annihilation imminent
0 Last orders please
We really are all going to DIE!

In the words of a favourite Uncle of mine; If you can’t stand the heat, try a large Pimms with Lemonade.

What a good idea. TTFN.

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Exasperated expatriate expostulations all the way from British Columbia, Canada. As if anyone really cared. Oh, I also watch Icelandic Volcanoes and seismic activity. Don't ask me why.

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